They say opposites attract, which is true – but they usually don’t finish the sentence which ends with “then opposites attack”. So can opposites really have a happy and fulfilling relationship? The answer is yes! You just need to work with each other’s personality type. Let’s say, for example, that you are an extroverted personality type married to an introverted personality type. Using the DiSC model of human behavior, this would mean you are either a “D” (Dominant) or an “I” (Inspiring) personality type married to an “S” (Supportive) or a “C” (Cautious) type. Typically, conflict occurs when there is an event that will involve socializing. The extrovert is all for having a great time and the introvert…. well…. not so much! There is a way to find a happy resolution though! Here are few suggestions:
You can both agree, before going to the event, what time you will leave. This way the introvert will know exactly how long they will need to be sociable. They will also have something to look forward to – which is leaving!
You could also introduce your introverted spouse to someone else who will be there that is similar to their personality type. Make sure they feel comfortable with those around them before taking off to be the life of the party. (Yes “I” types – this is you)
Another idea is to drive separately with the understanding that the introvert can leave as soon as they are ready. This way the extrovert can stay as long as they like without the introvert having to socialize more than they want to. It would be easy for the extrovert to be upset with the introvert for not wanting to socialize, but it’s important to understand their personality type. While the “D” or “I” type might be invigorated by being able to interact, the “S” and “C” types are actually mentally drained by the same activity. It is not something the extroverted personality type should take personally. This is simply the way that introverted personality types are wired! Instead of focusing on the fact they aren’t extroverted like yourself, you should think about some of their strengths. Introverts are great with details, they do a great job when performing and task and much more! Just because they are not extroverted doesn’t mean something is wrong with them. They are just different from you and that is okay! Finding that happy medium that BOTH extroverts and introverts can be comfortable with is sure to make the relationship better for both people! Remember to always let your personality shine!
Angel Tucker is an Expert Personality Profiler, and Certified Human Behavior Consultant. She is the best-selling Author of Stop Squatting With Your Spurs On and the creator of the Four Pals children’s book series. Angel is married to a Lt. Colonel in the USAF and they have four children.